A couple of years ago, I was in therapy and sadly telling my therapist about losing friends. I told her about how some people would just stop texting, emailing or returning calls. I didn’t feel like I had done anything wrong. Even though a psychiatrist had told me in the past, “it’s not personal”, I couldn’t help but feel it was very personal. Another therapist had told me, “Not everyone is going to like you!” Ouch, that was hard! I think I’m a very nice, compassionate and accepting person! Why wouldn’t anyone like me??? People are just at different stages in their lives and sometimes let you go for whatever reason. And let me tell you, it hurts when people leave. It also lower your self respect when you chase after people…. At one point, I kept leaving messages for a friend, and I whined to my therapist about why they weren’t responding. Actually, the person wasn’t a friend. I just thought they were because they were friendly to me. They weren’t able to say to me, “Hey I don’t want to hang out with you.”
However, my therapist said, to me, “It’s called reciprocation!” I was stunned because I really didn’t understand the concept. If someone is a friend and say they want to hang out, wouldn’t you believe them?? Well, yeah, under usual circumstances, but if they are not reciprocating your calls, texts, or whatever, then it’s time to get a clue…Yeah it took me a long time to figure it out, but actually I understood it when my therapist said, “It’s called reciprocation!”
There’s good news here! Once you stop chasing people who are not interested in what you have to offer, you can focus yourself on those who actually do. You are free to move on. You are free to let them move on with grace and ease. No guilt, no trying to pull them back, just lovingly release them.
It’s good for your mental health to let people go who are toxic and ignore you. There are plenty of people willing to accept you and appreciate your awesomeness! Let go of those who are not for you.
My blog posts, and my book, Dear Sophia, Love Yourself, are primer’s to get people to start thinking about issues differently. To look at them from a different perspective to learn, grow, or change mindset. They are especially written to spark an “aha” moment! It’s works for me! Comments are always welcome.